Resting

Simple tasks have been so hard to accomplish. Little jobs like laundry became such large energy giving jobs. Being in the kitchen and planning meals again seemed overwhelming. Stepping back from the emotion of it all, I started to realize that I was overly tired from Liam's birthday. We ended up having our church over for bible study last Thursday, and hosted a special meal in order to share in the celebration with Liam. We served pulled pork, cilantro coleslaw, baked beans, bread, cold watermelon, lumpia (filipino egg rolls) and two crunch top apple pies. Ross was working late on both days that we celebrated Liam's birthday, so the cleaning and the cooking fell on me. Which at the time wasn't a bad thing. I loved being able to share this milestone with our loved ones.

But on Friday I found myself so exhausted. Liam and I took a four hour nap. And the days after that were just so hard. Little tasks just seemed to take up so much energy. My mood, I am ashamed to say was not the best. For myself or for my family. So on Monday I realized that the to do list had to go and we had to do some serious resting. We did a bunch of little tasks that made us happy. There was a lot of play, a few chores, and during nap time, I played with an old work in progress, and started a new one. There was no rush to finish these crafting projects - and that to me was so healing. The process of crafting in itself can be very centering. Therapeutic. It helps me to hone in and focus, whereas sometimes my focus can seem scattered and nonexistent. I could feel my mood improving. And I know my family felt the benefits of it.

Isn't it so interesting - the rhythms we have in our days. When things are different (like a celebratory week) and that rhythm changes, how hard we have to work to get back in alignment - physically and emotionally. There really is a time for everything - a time to work and a time to rest. And rest is just as important as the work. I hope you all have an amazing balanced day of rest and work.

San Diego Sewing Reflection

Looking back on the pictures from our trip, so many pictures of fabric and sewing projects stare back at me from the screen. Oh what a glorious amount of sewing was done! And stitching in the quiet hours at night or in the early morning - so much time for reflection and appreciation on where we were and what we were experiencing. 

The picture above was taken during a late night of sewing little adventure pants (quick change trousers) for my baby boy. I wish I had captured this space in better lighting, but I am truly glad to have captured this space in at least one picture. 

My dad had moved around furniture in preparation of us coming so that I could have my own little sewing space to create. My dad's thoughtfulness never ceases to move me. So I took advantage of his rearrangement and worked this corner - and I mean worked it. 

Looking at the collage of projects completed or started, it makes me so happy to have worked on them in San Diego with the family around. Those items will always carry those memories. Finding fabric with my dad for mom's quilt. My mom standing over me as I put the blocks next to each other and saying, "oh that's nice Karis".  Stitching on the little abc sampler  and my dad coming to check on each new emerging letter. And Liam's little bear pillow. How Ross broke it in for Liam during a family movie that we were all watching together. Isn't it funny - how objects hold such memory. How there are memories attached to handmade items. How they take us back to a time and moment made during their creation. Amazing! This gift that we not only give to our loved ones, but that we give to ourselves.

 And I must not forget Liam's quick change trousers. Liam went everywhere in his little trousers! How wonderful it was to see him experiencing life with loved ones in his mama made pants! I cherish each little stain his adventures have left on him. From BBQs, to grass and leaf exploration, visiting with friends over tea, to adventures in the garden with Papa. Oh these little pants have been on adventures with him! And that is the best kind of sewing in my opinion! 

So we are back home on the Island right now, and I have been busy trying to keep my hands busy, because when there is time to stop and think about the family we left in San Diego, it makes my heart hurt. So I am keeping my attention focused on finishing up one out of two projects left for Liam's birthday. And oh how exciting it is! Things are really coming together, and I can't wait to celebrate this little boy's first journey around the sun.  

Aloha and Happy Thursday everyone! 

We all fall down...

Lately Liam has been furniture walking. He is so excited to pull up on furniture. When he stands up on his own he looks at me with the biggest grin on his face. Look mommy... I did it by myself,  his delighted expression suggests. 

But oh this little boy - he can climb up but doesn't know how to sit back down. Often times he falls down after trying to walk a little further than his little arms and feet can safely reach. Most times I can catch him in time and soften the landing... But there are those occurrences where Mommy just isn't fast enough... and a tumble is followed by a thud. When he falls and starts to cry, I sweep him up and comfort him with hugs and kisses. Oh if I could kiss away all the pain and the fear. Lately a phrase has emerge that I murmur to him on those occasions, It's alright Little Bug. We all fall down. Mommy falls down too. You are not alone my little boy in reaching father than your abilities can carry you... in falling in a tangle of limbs. In the thud that accompanies a crash. 

Today was one of those days. Mommy fell down... in a figurative sense. Sigh. I am learning that parents make mistakes... and oh how often the thud that follows is one of the heart - instead of the head. 

I wish that I could give my own mom and dad a hug. And express to them my gratitude and understanding. To ask them to forgive me for every time I thought they weren't enough. Even when they couldn't soften the landings... Because they were enough and more. So much much more. 

Parenting is the hardest job I have ever done in my life. 

Mom and Dad... thank you. I understand now. 

A new friend: a valuable lesson

Do you ever make something and wonder to yourself, "I can buy this at Walmart for ten dollars - why am I putting in so much effort to do this?" I must admit that those thoughts ran through my head during this project. A lot of seam ripping went into this project, which wasn't easy since I was sewing white chenille with white thread. But when I gave it to my little boy, my rumpled thoughts were soothed by his big smile, and the way he so readily reached for this little cotton tail and became fast friends.

Here is a toy I made with my hands. A toy that was created with things that we had on hand. A future lesson for my boy in giving handmades. A lesson for me about what it takes to craft a softie - the time and labor it takes. I won't ever buy a stuffed animal and take the craftsmanship for granted again.

In my New Years Goals post I posted about wanting to learn how to sew from patterns. This was my second attempt at making something with a pattern. Meet our little cotton tail! It's from Jill Hamor's book Storybook Toys. I was first introduced to this  book by Amy's blog over at NanaCompany. She made a chenille cotton tail bunny for her daughter. Well as the saying goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I hope it can be construed as flattery because I do so admire her work. And admiration often leads to imitation. So with that being said - I made my own sweet boy a chenille bunny friend.

"Most of the doll's clothes and the other toys in this book are made with such small amounts of fabric that you are likely to find the perfect fabric in your scrap bin." ~ Jill Hamor 

Oh how true that statement is! Three pieces of chenille in the scrap bucket, stuffing from pillows used at my wedding by my ring bearers, and a piece of fabric I had in my stash by Denyse Schmidt. This little friend took very little fabric to make. I think if I made another one too, it would sew up fast. Even with all my seam ripping, it took one of Liam's long nap sessions to sew together.

On a learner's note - I hand basted in a dark contrasting thread a lot during this project and I recommend it to all beginners sewing up a softie. By basting I was able to see how the parts were sewn together and whether or not I was doing it right. It was also easier to maneuver through the machine instead of having to worry about taking out the pins, especially in tight corners. I also did not embroider the eyes, but instead used plastic ones. I actually like the look a lot better!

I also did sew on the head at a bit of an angle as you can see. That wasn't a deliberate change in the pattern, but I kind of like the tilt of this little cotton tail's head. It's like he wants to whisper a secret.

When it is all said and done, and this little friend is snuggled up close to my son's soft face, I am happy that I made this project. I learned a lot through this process and I hope to make more toys and get better and better with each attempt.

On an aside, did you hear that Heidi from Fabric Mutt is hosting a Sew your Library link party? I believe three amazing ladies will be taking turns hosting the link up. This week is Martha from Weekend Doings.  I learned about Martha's blog from this link up party and I just have to say that she is one talented lady! Don't you just love the idea of a sew your library party? This is actually such an amazing idea! I have been trying to make a goal for myself to not buy any more crafting books until I create at least one project out of each book I have in my library. I think this party is just the ticket to work on that goal don't you think!

Happy Sewing friends!

Linking up to Sew the Library at Weekend Doings, TGIFF, Finish it Friday over at Crazy Mom Quilts.

2014 In Review

Last year's review I had four quilt tops that followed me into the new year. Three of those quilts were completed and gifted to family. The last of the four is being quilted by hand. In total, I completed five quilts this year. Five! I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't have the proof above me! This year was filled with quilts, placemats, and burp cloths. Lots and lots of burp cloths. =)

This year I got to experience crafting with my loved ones and the joy that it can bring about - not just in the finished product, but in the time spent crafting together. Wonderful! I was inspired by this amazing woman  and used this book and this book to get into the mindset and to look for projects that were kid and beginner friendly.

This year I also got to sew for my very own baby! Baby Liam was born in August and I was able to make this quilt for him and this crochet blanket. It is such an amazing and different feeling when crafting for your own child. Seeing my handmades being used to cuddle, comfort, and stimulate him have brought a fullness to my life that I wouldn't have thought possible.

My house is slowly filling up with handmade touches and it has made it even more cosy - and even more of an extension of us. I can't wait to see what this new year has in store for us. I'm looking forward to welcoming these new experiences with my family - most especially my sweet sweet baby boy Liam with arms wide open.

Happy New Years Everybody!
Aloha ~ Karisma

In my kitchen: at my table

Growing up - one of my jobs during dinner time was to set the table. My parents were not the Martha Stewarts of table settings or anything. They did have fancy plates and silverware that we reserved for special occasions like Thanksgiving. But the everyday table setting consisted of the bare essentials. Plate, utensils, drinks, paper napkins. Often the plates did not match. Often small chips could be seen on a cup. But there was a specialness that touches me now as I look back. The simple act of being together. The act of sitting, breathing, and sharing together. Sharing of our day. Sharing of a meal that would nourish our bodies. It was the togetherness that stands out to me. The atmosphere of togetherness that makes me push a little harder to achieve that for my own family now.

Upon moving to the Big Island - the circle that I found myself in tends to use paper plates and paper cups when entertaining. I must confess that the convenience of it is so nice. The ability to just throw your plate away when you're finished eating. But while convenient - it is not the most economical, nor the most environmental friendly.

So - breaking with the custom I've adopted, I went back to my roots and set our table with our dishes, glasses, and silverware. And oh can I say how wonderful it was to sit and linger at the table. To visit and talk and laugh about the happenings within our days. The dishes at the end of it didn't even seem to be such a chore. It was worth it to be able to have the togetherness that was shared at the table.

A little bit of handmade in the placemats added such a nice touch too. If you're wondering about them I made them from this tutorial. And blogged about them here. Next up on the handmade list for the table are napkins. This site actually has 21 tutorials for napkins. Napkins and a table runner are my next sewing projects for the table! For the kitchen table is starting to be one of my favorite places in our home.

In my kitchen: the cookie jar

Last week's peanut butter cookies 

Today's empty jar 

 Remedy 

 Yummy! 

 Ready for the week! 

Ahhh.... that is the sound of a happy lady. I love the cookie jar when it is full... but I love...love...love... it when it is empty. An empty container is a sign that the contents were thoroughly enjoyed and that the one I love is full and happy.

Lately Ross and I have... please excuse the cliche... taken to having milk and cookies when he gets home from school. No he is not a student, but a teacher who works at school. This little ritual as well as snacking throughout the day usually empties the jar in about a week between the two of us and the guests that pop up every now and then.

I grew up in a household of bakers. Not professional bakers... but people who just generally loved to bake. Growing up, I would love the way that the house would smell whenever there was a treat in the oven. Especially the way it would make the house so warm.

You wouldn't think it... living in Hawaii... but it does get cold here on occasionally - cold being a relative term. Anyways...I digress. Today is a cold day. Rainy and windy. The perfect day for baking.

Ross requested snickerdoodles and I was happy to oblige seeing as how those are one of my favorite cookies as well. Snickerdoodles are one of my sister's trademark cookies and it alway makes me think of her.

Growing up - I got a glimpse of what type of wife...mother...person -  I wanted to be by watching my own mother and sister and others who were close to me. So many of the women that I admired... whether they were working moms or stay at home moms.. they showed their love through the labor of their hands. From a clean kitchen... to folded laundry... to cookies waiting in a jar. I have been so blessed to have had such examples in my life. I look forward to carrying on the same things that shined so brightly in my life within my own home.

Celebrating with Handmades

I am ashamed to admit that sometimes my family members are the last people to receive handmades to mark special occasions. I think it's because I know that they will forgive me if I'm a lot  little late on birthday and anniversary presents.

But often times I am reminded that we only have so many birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate in a given lifetime. And when I stop to remember that life speeds past so fast... like the lifespan of a bloom... I push myself to meet a birthday deadline.

My father's birthday and parent's anniversary fall under the same month. My father was the one who taught me how to give in a handmade way. When my sister and I were little we would ask dad what he wanted for his birthday... he would always exclaim that he wanted something handmade... not store bought. Often times, as we pulled all nighters to finish handmade presents, we would exclaim how it was so hard... how we wish that dad would be placated with store bought something.

It wasn't until I got older that I really started to appreciated the love that can be put into a handmade object. Being the recipient of handmade lovelies I have often found those items to be the ones that receive places of honor within my home and heart. It isn't in the product... but the love that is carried with that said product.

So with the musings in my mind and heart... I'm pushing hard to finish these small tokens of love and expression for my parents... the two people who taught me about love and sacrifice. The two people I think of often now that I am on my own journey into motherhood.

Receiving Handmade

I love giving handmade gifts. The thought and love that goes into the process... the way I'm able to put a prayer... a hope... a wish... into each piece of the whole. There is nothing that can match a handmade gift in my opinion.

Can you imagine my delight when we got a package in the mail from one of our church friends on the mainland?! It's a sweet baby blanket made from nine squares of differing fabrics. I actually have a set of the frog, stripe, and paisley receiving blankets that our friend used in this blanket. What an inspiration for recycling Liam's receiving blankets when he gets older!

All throughout the blanket there are handmade stitches, embroidery, ties of ribbon. So much detail and thought!

Looking at this gift really made me meditate on my own handmade gifts. Looking at the lines in this blanket - they don't necessarily all line up... but I found myself falling in love with this project because of all of those imperfections. Projects are such amazing representations of the people that they come from... pieces of a whole... imperfections... but oh so filled with love. So much love and thought and hope. It really made me meditate on how many times I've ripped out stitches because things didn't line up - or the way I've left projects undone because of frustration at it not being "perfect".

I am really going to try and embrace the essence of handmade... which essentially is love is it not?

Here's to imperfect lines and wonkiness.... but a whole lot of love... so so much love!

My heart is so full

Today we dropped mom and dad off at the airport so they could fly home. This past month we have been so blessed to have had my family visiting to help us with Liam. To help while I heal - while Ross gets use to being the primary provider on such limited sleep - and to get to know this wonderful and sweet baby. 

I have never been so humbled as I was this past month while the family was here. Being the youngest in the family, I was always a bit babied.  I was a bit spoiled to be honest. When I sit to reflect back on my childhood, the way that my family serves others stands out so vividly. In my own life I have been able to experience such richness in being served. When I was in school Dad would wake me up with a cup of creamy tea. When I was sick Mom would stay up with me all night - making me ginger tea and rubbing my back, and then before heading into work a full work day - she would pile the kitchen counter high with foods and drinks that would be alright for me to consume. My sister would stay up late with me and work on homework or read so that I wasn't all by myself whenever I had to pull an all nighter because I procrastinated on a paper. So many memories stand out of how rich my life has been because of the examples of service that my family had provided. 

When I moved away and attended University in Hawaii in order to complete my Masters - I felt closest to my family when I followed in their example by serving those around me. Cooking for my classmates. Helping to clean up after church services. Massaging my flight attendant roommate's head when she came home from a trip. And then when I got married and moved to the Big Island - cooking special meals for my husband. Writing him notes for his lunch box. Making handmade presents for children being born in the church and in his family. I have been learning that most times - it is so much better to serve than to be served. 

After I gave birth to Liam, I wasn't in any position to serve others. I was so sore and couldn't cook. Sleep deprived and on edge with changing hormone levels. Sometimes I would want to just cry at the helplessness of it all.  But my family was here - taking on the brunt of all the cooking, and cleaning, and shopping. Having my sister here in the beginning when everything was so new and raw was such a life line. She would listen when I would cry about how I didn't understand how hard it would be to breastfeed a child that didn't want to latch. And then she would gently give me advice and show me how - and be present for each feeding so that I didn't have to face failure after failure by myself. She stayed with me until Liam would latch and then talk to me to keep my mind off of how much it hurt. She would always have the teapot hot in the morning so that when I stumbled into the kitchen after Liam would want to eat every one or two hour feedings throughout the night, I didn't have to wait long to get a cup of creamy tea to sooth the weariness away. And she kept my cookie box constantly filled with sweet treats. Lemon bars, chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon rolls. 

My sister and niece left and then a week later my parents arrived. With my mom and dad - it's like the pressure of having to do everything by myself lifts. They have breakfast on the table before I even have a chance to think about what I will cook. They do the laundry before I can even notice a pile. They let Ross and I sleep while they take care of Liam because Liam was fussy all night and wouldn't stop crying. There is evidence of their service all throughout the house. The freezer is stocked with proteins that they bought and made for us so that we wouldn't have to drive the hour long trip into Kona for groceries. The cookie box is once again full before they left for the airport. Liam's diaper supply is stocked for months. And leftovers are piled in the fridge so that we wouldn't have to worry about dinners for the next few days. Not only did they serve - but they also taught. They taught me that I had been washing my towels wrong. They taught me about gardening. They taught me about cooking - even going so far as to bring their own ingredients from San Diego. So much. They have done so much. I feel as if I have rested and fed and am at my fullest potential to take on this new role as mother while still being the type of wife that I want and expect of myself. 

With the house being quiet except for the sleeping noises of my napping baby and a husband at rest, I type out my thoughts as I remember and am filled. Filled with peace. Filled with love. And filled with encouragement. My heart is so full. So very very full.