Learning

We have made our yearly trip to San Diego and oh how wonderful it is to be home for a bit. It has been a whirl wind of a first week here. Liam has had a hard time adjusting to all of the new faces and loved ones he has been introduced to. I must admit that my heart hurts just a little bit for him and those that I love that have looked forward to playing with him and are a bit disappointed that he hasn’t taken to them instantly. But as Ross is constantly reminding me – he just needs time. Wait. Give him time.

We arrived on Wednesday – and for first parents flying with their child, I think we all did really well. We brought along some of his favorite toys to occupy him. I also caved and brought along little organic puff snacks – the first break in my only homemade food for him. But those little snacks came in so handy during his fussy times. It gave him a new experience to concentrate on.

Over the weekend we were invited to go along with my sister’s camping group to Silverwood campgrounds. Although tiring – it was such a wonderful experience! Between the amazing people and glorious food, I have to admit that my favorite experience was watching Liam play in the lake for the first time. (Unfortunately I forgot my camera! Bad blogger! Ugh) Oh how this boy of mine loves water and wet sand! It is such a joy to watch him discover and play. His little fat hands splashing in the water. His peals of baby delighted laughter making me smile. Yes – it was a wonderful time at the lake.

When we got home I was so caught up in the pace set by others I told Ross, “I need to make something.” So out came my mom’s sewing machine (still brand new in the box!) and I cut into some fabric that I had brought for moments just like this one – and I cut out a pair of Quick Change Trousers in the nine month size and worked on it. And oh how wonderful it felt! Almost like a huge exhale that I was holding in the entire weekend just released. As scissors cut  - needle and thread went into fabric – already I could feel myself become more centered. Feeling more like myself. I started thinking about the rhythm of my family and the choices we’ve made for Liam. The things I want for my family. And as I was constructing this garment for my son – through prayer and reflection - I found my family’s rhythm settle back into me and I was ready to start a new day in this new to him place.

Currently it is four am here and I am cuddled up in a quilt that I made for my parents, and a cup of coffee. An unfinished pair of pants are waiting for me on the ironing board. Unfortunately I ran out of thread half way to finishing and I am ok with that. Because it really isn’t about the finished product is it? It’s about the pace set by making – it’s about who I am in the process and what I am learning. And oh aren’t we always learning? I hope that is always and will always be the case.