Monday, September 7, 2015

Savoring the time
















Today at the beach I asked Liam to bring me his bucket and he walked his strong little legs over to where it was and brought it to me. Amazing. And a bit mind blowing. That moment when you realize that your baby is quickly loosing that baby about him and becoming a little boy. Lately I have been finding myself falling into deep thought about where Ross, Liam, and I are in life. About how I love so many things about this season. This time with a first baby.  How many hours are spent laughing with him, doing things with him, teaching him. How much quiet time we have to just lie with him and fall in love over and over and over again. How each new thing that he learns or accomplishes makes our hearts swell. There is so much preciousness in our days. Sometimes I wonder how will my heart ever expand if our family were to grow when every moment I find my heart so full - so stretched. I don't think I am alone in that thought. I think a lot of parents have that thought. I love my child so much, how could I possibly ever love another one so completely? Our hearts though, I am finding, are amazing muscles - that expand and grow.  Ross and I have been discussing growing our little family. Whereas it is exciting, it is also terrifying. That thought - how will there be enough love? I know that when that moment comes, there will be enough. There will always be enough love. But right now, in this moment, I find myself savoring the time I have with this precious first baby little boy.  All this time of just me and him. Each laugh and smile and funny thing that he does. The sounds that will so quickly become words.  The pointing to communicate that he wants water, or a snack, or a toy that is out of reach. Or his hands outstretched, holding them out to be held and loved and his face to be covered with kisses. Oh yes, there is so much to be savored. And I relish in the smallness of his warm feet on my leg and his laughter in my heart. There won't be moments like this forever. But for now, the shape of the love I hold in my heart - it is enough.  It is more than enough.

7 comments:

  1. Awww, what a beautiful post, it brough tears to my eyes, time flies so fast, enjoy enjoy these moments of quiet, overwhelming love when they are just yours. My own first baby runs around the yard now, he's almost as tall as I am and is closer to the adult life than to babyhood. The second one follows him, and she's growing up even faster...

    Best of luck when you decide to have another one. Love indeed multiplies, in some ways it's so different with the next one, but just as strong.

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    1. Time does fly by so fast! Thank you so much for your kind words. I indeed have been relishing in the fact that at the moment Ross and I are his whole world - his comfort. I know it won't always last, so I'm holding these moments so close. I can't imagine a time when Liam will be almost as tall as I am... he rests so wonderfully on my hip, on in his sling... oh dear. =)

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  2. Beautifully written Karisma. Its so funny, I remember my husband and I thinking and talking about the exact same thing when we were contemplating trying for our second baby... and yes you are right, your heart does grow and stretch and is just as full of love for your second bub when he/she arrives. While it is very different to your first, it is also very special in its own way, getting to share the experience of meeting and bringing up a baby WITH your first little one and their interactions together. It is so beautiful too. Keep enjoying and savouring this wonderful season in your life, as I'm sure you will. I have to consciously try and slow down and try to make time to savour and enjoy my little one (he is our third bub). It feels like a hectic juggling act a bit at the moment, to juggle what each of the kids needs and give them all the time and attention they each deserve. Life sure is busy now. I'm hoping things will get a bit easier and calm down soon, or that I will become a better juggler!! Ha ha!! Kelly

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    1. Thank you so much Kelly. Your words were so comforting, especially hearing that conversations that are occurring in my heart are also being discussed by other couples. I hear that a lot, that it is so exciting to see how your first one loves your second one so much... to see him developing a nurturing side of his own, it's wonderful. But for now I will indeed relish in the time that I have with L., when it is just us... and the quiet sweetness of it all. On a different note, wow, three! You are a super star! You and your husband are outnumbered and needs are being met in so many different directions. I am hoping that you get some time to yourself to recharge. I am so glad to know that you sew... a creative outlook is so important, I am coming to understand. Have a wonderful day! I hope that your long weekend was wonderful! K.

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  3. So beautifully written. I hope that your son can read these words one day and know just how much you love him - although he will know it in his heart already of course!!! xx

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    1. Thank you Amy. I hope that he will always feel loved by my actions.

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  4. HA! Mine's 3 now - it's great when you can get them to bring you stuff! Payback! :)

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