Thursday, August 20, 2015
One stitch at a time
"Through the act of making I find solace and peace in the small moments of my everyday life. When I am at work making things, I am fully present in the moment as I breathe new life into something, while at the very same time, I am fulfilling a need or a desire for my family. I am reminded rather symbolically that we can only do one stitch at a time, and therefore one step at a time, and one breath at a time in this life." ~ Amanda Soule from Handmade Home.
The heat. The thick heavy air that seems to coat everything in the house with a sticky moisture. Liam fussy and clingy due to a bad reaction from his shots. Not being able to put him in his sling due to said heat. New changes in Ross' schedule, therefore changing my schedule. All of these things have made my fuse short lately. And I mean short. Like pencil stub short.
It has been my custom for many years to wake up around five o'clock in order to have time alone reading my bible and spending some time in prayer and reflection. An hour of quiet and reflection with a cup of coffee or tea always started the day so wonderfully right. But lately Ross has claimed the five o'clock hour time as his so that he can work out - and since I'm a loving giving wife, I let him ::wink:: Liam co-sleeps with us, and with our bed being so high, one of us is always in the room with him as to prevent him falling out of the bed (happened once already!). Since the room is dark, I tend to do some computer work, or I sleep in a little more with him since I can't read my bible. But, coupled with the heat, this Mama Bear was just that. A big and grumpy bear! My patience and endurance had been of low reserves lately and I began to suspect that it was because my usual hour of prayer and reflection wasn't happening. So today I did something different. I woke up at four (yes four a.m.!), made a cup of strong chai tea, read in the book of Ephesians, and prayed for everyone and everything that has been on my heart. And you know what? Today feels right. Like, whatever may come at me can be handled. Because today I finally feel right.
Things in the day will sometimes now always go as planned. But I've come to realize that if I am strong and centered and my needs are met - then come what may. I want to be the rock that the river flows around, not the rock that gets thrown around by the river!
Isn't it amazing? How we need certain things in order to function at one hundred precent? How morning rituals, when not observed can make everything so much harder? The day just feels like dominos falling one by one until everything around you is in pieces. That's how it has been week after week in our home.
But hopefully, change is in the air. And a new routine can be established where everyone's needs are being met. Workout time, prayer time, guardian during the early morning watch. All of it. Cause that's what we do right? Adjust. Find what needs to be changed so that everyone is covered.
Lately, my grizzly bear status has left me too grumpy to even sew. It's like my mind wound't settle enough in order to work on hand projects. But today I'm looking forward to starting the hand quilting on this project during Liam's nap time. Because really, we can only do one stitch at a time. And breathe one breath at a time. And oh how I hope to do it with a present and grateful heart. And I hope that my actions speak of love in everything that I do. Because really I do have so much love for this family of mine. And I want my actions and my words and my mood to project it.
May you all have a wonderful day of peace and love and joy.