It was one of those days. When the thoughts in my mind just seemed to weigh on me. Like a physical tangible weight. My shoulders felt slumped. Everything felt slumped. So I decided today, come rain or come shine, we were going to the beach. My favorite beach. Where Ross first took me when we were dating and we had one of those talks. Those talks that take two people and bring them to a point of understanding. A place where they intersect.
This was a bit of a milestone marker for me. I have never taken Liam anywhere by myself. Until today. Where I knew that the sand and the water would be stimulation for him and healing for me. And oh how wonderful it was this morning. Two and a half hours of just discovering with my little boy. Of eating snacks (can you believe this little one of mine loves roasted seaweed! Who would have thought!) and on his part (and whenever I kissed him, a bit on my part) a lot of sand. Of touching the water and watching him crawl away from the fast approaching waves and into my arms. Of walking hand in hand with him as we gathered corral and lava rocks in our bucket together to take home so we can bring a part of this peaceful moment with us.
I know how healing nature can be. How the sand and the waves just feel like home. I know how beautiful our island can be. I don't know why it takes moments of complete blah to get me out the door so that I can be in it. To place ourselves in the best parts of the place that we call home.
I am grateful for today. For our spot. For our moment. And that moment of peace that comes when you take the time to breathe - not just air - but space. Both physically and emotionally.
When we got home Liam fell asleep on our car ride back. And when he woke up, got to play with the corral and lava rocks that we collected today. Today we started a nature basket on the top of his toy shelf. Where I can pull it out for him to rediscover and possibly remember our wonderful morning together. When he felt the sand on his toes and walked with a happy and fully present mama, collecting treasures on the beach.